In terms of mental health, people who are successful in their marriage are less likely to suffer from mental illnesses. Therefore, marriage can be an important factor to avoid mistakes and a reason for physical and mental health, so that among those who refer to psychiatric hospitals, single people are more visible.
Single people, widows and those who have divorced have more premature deaths compared to married people, and this is true for all nations and in all social structures. These comments imply that marriage and Marriage has an important effect on the mental state and lifestyle of a person, and married people have a higher mental balance compared to single people.
Research has also shown that the rate of depression of single people is higher than that of married people.
Characteristics of a successful marriage:
As mentioned, marriage has a positive effect on the mental health of people in all nations and societies with any structure, but not every marriage, but it was still emphasized that a marriage that is associated with success.
The Prophet of Islam also considered a good and worthy wife to be the greatest blessing in life, not just any wife. Therefore, successful marriages encourage the growth and prosperity of individuals, but marriages that are not successful will be accompanied by many problems such as failure, conflict and leaving the parties alone. When the marital conflict starts, the husband and wife fuel the problem due to their lack of knowledge about family mechanisms and do not know what to do.
About the characteristics of a successful marriage, various criteria and specifications have been presented. Dr. Spurgeon, a famous English psychiatrist, believes that a successful marriage should satisfy four basic human needs:
-۱ To be a provider of sexual needs.
۲- There should be communication and interaction with understanding between the parties and Various situations express praise and gratitude to each other .
۳- Spouses provide encouraging grounds for each other’s growth and prosperity.
۴- In addition to love and affection for each other, both parties also love marriage and continuously strive to maintain the foundation of the family.
In short, some of the characteristics of a successful marriage can be listed as follows:
– Husband and wife consider themselves happy.
– Complete and mutual satisfaction of basic physical and emotional needs is done.
– Each spouse fertilizes the other’s life.
– The marital environment makes the personality of each of the parties valuable and respectable and allows each of them to act as A person should develop and realize his inherent talents.
– have mutual support; None of the husband and wife “himself” or “me” threaten the other and they feel comfortable being with each other.
– They have mutual understanding towards each other.
– The family is the place to evaluate problems and shortcomings and take action to solve them.
– It is the source of friendship, companionship and psychological, economic and cultural support.
– The family also removes lack of trust, lack of motivation, repetition of work and boredom caused by it.
Factors affecting a successful marriage :
A successful marriage with the characteristics we listed depends on several factors that can be summarized as follows:
– Suitability in education
– Proportion in age
– Proportion in belief and ethics
– Proportion in sexuality
– Intellectual and emotional fitness and harmony
– Proportion in faith and religious beliefs
– Suitability in educational and cultural fields of the family
– Proportion in the economic and social status of the family
– Appropriateness in geographic location
– Proportion in mental abilities and..
The role and necessity of counseling in marriage :
As mentioned, marriage is one of the most important events that happen in every person’s life, so it deserves the attention it deserves. Considering the importance of marriage and forming a family and its impact on the continuity and strength of the family and the upbringing of children and having a healthy life combined with satisfaction and happiness and a sense of success, it is necessary for girls and boys to benefit from marriage counseling services when they get married and in this way get to know each other’s goals, duties and rights well. Today, young girls and boys on the verge of marriage can take more firm steps and calmness and confidence in the tortuous path of marriage and family formation by using marriage counseling services. And finally be successful in this matter.
Unfortunately, in our society, in some cases, boys and girls marry each other without sufficient study and knowledge, with feeling and taste minus accuracy in various moral, physical and psychological aspects. Also, after forming a family, in case of marital conflicts due to lack of knowledge and not having enough knowledge and not knowing what to do, these factors fuel these problems. These factors and lack of knowledge double the need for counseling in all stages of marriage and family formation. Is.
Today, the value of marriage counseling and family therapy services is not only in the treatment of wrong and undesirable functions of the husband and wife, but also in the prevention of many disorders in married life and the preservation and transfer of desirable behavioral characteristics and dynamic and developing conditions and situations in Family life is known.
Types of marriage counseling :
Paying attention to the process of marriage shows that each of its stages needs special counseling for that stage.
The stages of marriage counseling are :
۱- Counseling before marriage :
The main purpose of counseling at this stage is to help people to choose the right couple. This stage is the most important stage of marriage counseling, because it has a preventive aspect and if properly guided, it will ensure the mental health of the family.
۲- Counseling during marriage :
The purpose of counseling at this stage is to strengthen the foundations of couples. Getting to know the couple about each other, getting information about the psychology of men and women, how they behave correctly with each other, and preventing disagreements and their deepening, is one of the goals of this counseling stage.
۳- Counseling after marriage :
At this stage, i.e. the beginning of a shared life, couples practically experience each other’s cultural, ideological, social issues and accepted traditions and may not be able to resolve some of the conflicts and differences, so counseling at this stage is to guide them and prevent Differences will be useful.
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