The relationship between education and marriage

Many factors are considered as criteria for marriage in girls and boys, for example.  Being beautiful, having a higher education, good income and job, having a house and a car and other privileges  But  The level of education is one of the important factors that make up the personality and especially in Iran it determines the social image.

Notable girls and boys ready for marriage: The following possibilities can be considered about the level of education of the husband and wife:

۱-     The man has a higher education; But the woman has an average or less education.

۲-     Both men and women have the same level of education.

۳-     The woman has higher education and the man has less education.

۴-     The man is highly educated and the woman is illiterate  , or has little education.

In case 1 and 2, there is no problem for husband and wife; But in case 3 and 4, married life is often faced with incompatibility and in some cases it falls apart. A woman who has a higher education, is a doctor or an engineer, does not have an understanding with a man who has a primary education at most and is, for example, a driver or a plumber. A man sees the world in one way and a woman in another way. A woman feels uncomfortable and humiliated in gatherings and circles, when her husband speaks and probably pronounces most of the words incorrectly or brings up unpleasant topics; And in the end life will be bitter for both.

In the second case where the man has a higher education and the woman is uneducated or poorly educated, the same situation exists for the man as well. This happens when a man in his village at the age of 18-20 when he studies in high school.  He married one of the illiterate girls from his village and had a child. Then, according to his talent and mental preparation, he came to the city and continued his education until the higher stages. There will not be an atmosphere of happiness in such a life.

 It should be remembered that the type  Education is not important. What is important in marriage; The level of education. At the same time, if the husband and wife’s education is in the same field; Marital understanding will be more. For example, the marriage of a doctor with a nurse will be more successful; Until the marriage of a doctor with an engineer. The problem is that the type of education in marriage is not very important compared to the level of education. The importance of education level in marriage is so much that if the difference is big, it can be said that there will rarely be compatibility.

Advice on marriage related to the education factor

The level of education is an important factor in married life. Therefore, it should be taken into consideration when choosing a spouse. Counselors in relation to the education factor in choosing a spouse should make the clients pay attention to the importance of the issue and act as follows in different cases.

۱-     According to Iranian culture, if a man has more education, there will be no problem in married life. Usually, men who have higher education accept their wife’s level of education at the secondary level, if other factors are in harmony. Therefore, consultants should pay attention to this point regarding their clients. There are cases where a man chooses his wife with a secondary education despite having a higher education and does not want her to have a specialty and work outside the home. The preferences of girls and boys regarding the level of education should be taken into consideration in the counseling of choosing a spouse. But in any case, the lower level of education of girls compared to boys often does not cause a major problem.

۲-     The girl has a high education and the boy has a low education or an education around the secondary level. In this case, it is possible to marry at the time of marriage due to the positive points in the boy; But this difference is likely to gradually cause a difference due to the social employment of the woman and the feeling of superiority over the husband, and on the contrary, the feeling of inferiority of the husband in front of the woman, and the sweet married life will turn into a psychological and moral conflict. Therefore, the counselor should warn the boy and girl about the consequences of this situation and make them understand that the difference in education level may be a reason for the difference and they should pay attention to this point when choosing a spouse.

۳-     Another case is that the husband or wife studied after marriage and there is a difference in the level of education, and this causes the warm environment of the family to break up. In these cases, the counselor should pay attention to the husband’s life after remarriage and the condition of his first wife and possibly her previous children, and by comparing the two states of non-marriage and second marriage, he should be aware of the disorders.  The second mode is to understand. and encourage the wife to adapt herself to the husband’s new life conditions, and finally the couple to the fact that the separation of their lives does not create better conditions; inform

۴-     Another case is when a woman gets a higher education after marriage and thinks about separation and divorce. In this case, the counselor should hold counseling sessions with the husband and wife, especially the wife should advise her about the life after divorce and the husband to harmonize himself with his wife.

۵-     There are girls with higher education who marry a less educated or illiterate man for various reasons.  In the case of such girls and vice versa boys with this condition, the counselor should familiarize them with the goals of marriage in choosing a spouse and give them an insight that the goal of marriage is not pity and reward in the hereafter, nor unrealistic thoughts in order to gain the satisfaction of parents and or maintaining their position. In this case, such girls and boys will certainly not agree to such marriages, and as a result, they will not face problems after marriage or divorce and family breakup.

Of course, these are only tips to prevent problems. The level of education is only one of thousands of important and vital factors in the category of marriage.