In this article, we will discuss the conditions and characteristics of good friends. It is hoped that by reading the next pages, you will be able to confidently choose worthy friends for yourself.
۱- Faith and piety
Faith and piety are important characteristics of a friend, because a unified person who accepts religion with all his heart and soul and believes deeply in the existence of heaven and hell and is also aware of the decay of this world and the remnants of the hereafter, knows very well that only through worship And it is servitude that can gain the happiness of two worlds. Now, how is it possible for such a person to have friends who do not believe in religion – in thought – and do not have any signs of God’s servants – in action?
In the ups and downs of life in this world, where the results of our thoughts and actions determine our eternal destiny in that world, is it possible to choose someone for friendship who has nothing else to do with his personality other than worldliness and air worship? ?
It is clear that a wise person, especially a Muslim person, according to the Qur’an, morality and reason, never chooses such people for friendship, but for the growth and development of his soul, he chooses friends who have high faith and piety as much as possible. Because he knows for sure that the result of worldliness and irreligion and disbelief in the supernatural is that a shaky seedling called friendship is formed based on worldly interests, while this kind of friendship will not only not last, but the fruit and benefits of it. It will not bring any good for the person and may bring bitter and ominous fruits for its owner.
The Noble Qur’an has various verses in this regard, which also warn people and believers against establishing friendship and friendship with infidels, polytheists, and hypocrites.
(لا یَتَّخِذِ المُؤمِنُونَ الْکافِرینَ أوْلیاءَ مِنْ دُونِ المُؤمِنینَ وَ مَنْ یَفْعَلْ ذالِکَ فَلَیْسَ مِنَ اللهِ فِی شَی ءٍ إلا أنْ تَتَّقُوا مِنْهُمْ تُقیهً وَ یُحَذِّرُکُمُ اللهُ نَفْسَهُ وَ إلَی اللهِ الْمَصِیر). (۱)
Believers should not choose unbelievers as their friends and guardians instead of believers, and whoever does that has no relationship with God.
In this verse, God Almighty strictly forbids the believers from friendship with unbelievers. Because these friendships are not made mainly for the sake of gaining power and wealth. It is clear that all this is in the hands of God, so what is the benefit of friendship with those who themselves need others to acquire those things. In fact, the Quran here gives an important socio-political lesson to Muslims, and that is to never accept strangers as your friends and supporters. The history of colonialism shows that the oppressors of colonialism have always appeared in the clothes of friendship, heartache, and expression of love, and in the end, they attacked that society and took everything they had as a booty.
It is mentioned in many narrations because of these friendships. Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) says: Whoever you see, whose friendship and enmity were not because of religion, know that he has no religion. (2)
He has said in another place: One of the strongest evidences of faith is to love for the sake of God and for the sake of His friendship, and to hate for the sake of God.
In contrast to this type of friendship, which is strictly prohibited, is friendship with people of faith and piety. This is the scene of the highest successes of the owners of wisdom and thought, those who knew and were able to select elites from the wide world.
There are many narrations encouraging and recommending this kind of friendship and choosing friends, which, in addition to expressing its importance, encourages people to continuously plan friendship and camaraderie with people of faith.
The Messenger of God (peace be upon him) said:
Al-mu’min for the believers of Kalbuniyan Yashud-suppa bazzah bazzah. (3)
People who have faith in each other are like the parts of a building, one part of which holds the other part firmly.
Also, while he considers the believers as one soul, (4) he says in the description of the friends of the believers:
The parable of the believers in their Tawad and their compassion is like the parable of the body, if you complain about some of the other associations with Al-Sahhar and Al-Hami. (5)
The example of people with faith in friendship and goodness with each other is like the members of a body, when some of them suffer and it hurts, the other members will not have peace.
۲- Intellect
Intellect is the force by which man understands the truths of the world. Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) says in the definition of wisdom:
Our mind is worshiped by the Most Merciful and acquired by the Gentiles. (6)
Intellect is something by which God is worshiped and heaven is obtained.
The late Allameh Tabatabaei also says the following in Tafsir al-Mizan in explaining the meaning of intellect: Intellect is the power by which man gets to know the truth. (7) Intellect is a beacon of guidance and a unique inner capital that belongs to a human being, and may God, the Exalted and Exalted, understand it correctly and think in such a way as to bring him to the abode of happiness.
The personality and value of each person is to the extent that he benefits from reason. In the Qur’an and hadiths, intellect has been praised a lot, as far as the saying of the first infallible Imam (peace be upon him):
There is no wealth like intelligence and no poverty like ignorance. (8)
There is no wealth like wisdom and no poverty like ignorance.
Reason is the measure of good and bad. Basically, the reward and punishment of God that is given to man in the hereafter is based on the standard of reason and in the relationship between religion and reason. For example, the Qur’an says in the language of the people of Hell: (The people of the fire call the guardians of hell, if we had listening ears and used our intellect, we would not be the people of the fire). (9)
Know the discriminator of good and bad
That there is nothing beyond wisdom
Encouraging wisdom and heartwarming wisdom
The wisdom of arresting and the wisdom of guidance
Wisdom is far away from pride and arrogance
Break it to the light
Wisdom prevents bad things
Wisdom finds its way to the servant
If he is old, someone is young
Wisdom is the teacher of the soul
Wisdom makes hard work easy for you
Your wisdom is happy and victorious (10)
۳- Not being greedy for the world
Some people have mistakenly thought that the world is completely disgusting and reprehensible. But first, we should see what is meant by the world and what part of it is not liked and what part of it is reprehensible? and why
The truth of the matter is that the meaning of the world is this material world and the so-called house of nature; and it must be emphasized that the world in itself is not only bad, but according to the words of the beloved Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), the world is a field of It is the hereafter. (11)
The world is a good platform for learning perfection and reaching the high positions of humanity. That is, by using the power (choice) and relying on the power of faith, a person walks the path of evolution and can choose a prosperous world and the hereafter.
Therefore, if the gifts and blessings of the world are a means to reach high human values and eternal happiness, such a world is never bad, but a bridge to reach great and lofty goals.
But what is mentioned in the condemnation of the world is actually about a world without purpose and without results, or a world that is itself the goal of a person, in other words, that his ultimate goal is the world and that’s it. This world and such a view of the world is rejected.
There is no good in the world, no care for it. (12)
There is no good in a world in which there is no thought and no lofty goal.
The Holy Quran says:
And what is life in the world except the things of pride. (13)
The meaning of this Qur’anic saying (the life of the world is the possession of pride) is that the world is a means to deceive oneself and others. Obviously, this situation is true for those who set the world as their ultimate goal and are attached to it, and their last degree of desire is to reach it, and that is why they are greedy for the world. This world is reprehensible because the Taliban, regardless of the destruction of this world, put all their efforts to reach it.
On the other hand, since worthy friendships are not limited to this world, and the value and final result of friendship for believers is taken in the hereafter, therefore, believing brothers should choose friends who are not greedy for this world.
It is clear that those who are greedy for the world and their highest desire is to achieve worldly things, in the end, where the continuation of friendship conflicts with their worldly interests, they give up friendship and leave us. They know no limits in their pursuit of the world, as stated in the noble hadith:
The unsatisfied human being is a seeker of knowledge and a seeker of the world. (14)
Two people are not full: A student of science and a student of the world.
۴- Moderation and moderation
Have you ever wondered why moderation is less common in our lives? Unfortunately, it must be said that in a wide segment of society, especially among young people, feelings and emotions are usually the most determining factors in the formation of a person’s behavior. Accordingly, in many social issues, including in making friends, they get carried away by their emotions and their emotions become dominant over their intellect; as a result, they go beyond the limits of moderation and indulge in extremes in friendship. Of course, it is natural that perhaps at the beginning of friendship, a kind of love and humanity is felt, which creates the false impression that it seems to have reached a high level of empathy and like-mindedness, but in the continuation of the work, it is observed that not only Such an idea has not been true, but new problems have come upon him. But Islam, which is a religion of moderation and moderation, strictly orders not to go beyond the limits of moderation.
(And thus He made you as mediators so that you may be martyrs for people and may the Messenger be a martyr for you). (15)
In this way, We have made you moderate people so that you can be a good example for other nations, just as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is a good example for you.
The Holy Qur’an has ordered Muslims to be rational, considerate and moderate in all social and individual matters. In friendship, with all the emphasis and orders he has on it, he signs the friendship plan on the basis of moderation and mediocrity. Islam advises that in friendship with others, we should not treat each other like strangers and show ourselves indifferent to the customs and rights of friendship, nor should we reveal all the secrets of our lives and our families. Rather, we should show them the right and acceptable method of moderation in friendships and avoid any excesses, as the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
I love your beloved, so I don’t want you to hate me for a day, and I hate you for a day. (16)
Love your friend in moderation, because one day he may become your enemy, and love your enemy to the same degree, because he may become your friend one day.
And Commander of the Faithful Ali (peace be upon him) also said: If you want to cut the bond of brotherhood and friendship, leave a place of friendship for him so that if he wants to come back and be friends with you again, he can do so. (17)
۵- Being a mirror
One of the characteristics of faithful and intimate friends is that they are so close in spirit to each other in their behavior and socializing with each other that even the smallest and most subtle positive and negative points of each one’s existence are not hidden from the other person’s view. And in a word, it is like a mirror for your friend. How beautifully the Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that:
Believer (18)
A believer is the mirror of his believing brother.
A true friend appreciates the desirable qualities of his friend and encourages him completely towards them and helps him with his plan so that day by day he will be better and more successful in those good qualities. On the other hand, if he sees the slightest slip and mistake in his friend’s existence, it is like seeing this spot in a transparent mirror, he immediately points it out to him and tries to hide it from others and remove that flaw. In fact, he considers his friend’s slip and fault as his own slip and fault and spends all his efforts to help him to fix it, but not out of fault-finding and mockery, which is the characteristic of wicked people and hypocrites, but with the intention of reforming and benevolence.
Yes, a true friend is one who, if he sees a mistake in his believing brother, reminds him of it, rather than passing it by or praising it as flatterers and flatterers do. Because maybe with such behavior, that trait will remain in him for years and he will be unaware of it. Now, if the person’s mistake is not an ordinary mistake, but a mistake that has been condemned and forbidden in Shari’ah terms, it is obligatory on the person (friend) to warn him about it for the sake of the good and to warn him against doing it. As he sees a moral weakness in his friend, since he is a mirror of his friend, he should remind him to remove that defect, which is the best kind of friendship, as Imam Sadiq (peace be upon him) says:
I love those who are wrong. (20)
My best friends are those who point out my faults.
Also, Hassan bin Ali (peace be upon him) says:
Who loves you more and who hates you more. (21)
Your true friend is the one who prevents you from evil and your enemy is the one who incites you to do evil.
From my friend’s talk
If I am bad, let it be good
My fault is art and perfection
I smell flowers and jasmine
Who is the enemy of the evil-eyed wit
to show me my faults (22)
۶- Good manners
Good character is when a person is decorated with good human and Islamic morals and traits, and adjusts his behavior and behavior with a good mood, good morals, and adjusts his behavior and relationships with others.
The importance of this feature is so great that God described His Prophet as follows:
(And indeed, for a great character). (23)
O Prophet, in truth, you are adorned with a good and great character.
On the other hand, the Holy Prophet has also introduced the purpose of his mission to all the moral virtues that:
Bū’bṭtu laṭammaḥm mākarem mākhāḥlaq. (24)
And he considered the value of human beings to be five things: Religion, reason, modesty, good manners and politeness.
This is clearly evident everywhere that the most successful members of a society are those who have good morals. They are the ones who have a place in the hearts of the society and can be the most effective people in the society. Good morals are effective in relieving pain – both physical pain and mental pain – to the extent that it can accelerate the treatment of diseases. In this sense, the necessary conditions for a nurse is to have a good character. Because a nurse with a good mood can inject peace into the patient’s soul more effectively than any external medicine.
One of the characteristics of good friends is having good morals. Because those who have made a pact of friendship, humanity and love with others and pressed each other with hard work for a lasting friendship, only with good morals and good behavior can they maintain and strengthen their friendship.
I did not see it in the search world
Don’t have the right to be rude
۷- Testing
After stating the conditions of friendship and who we should accept for companionship and friendship, this question is raised: How can one ensure the existence of the discussed traits in the person in question and know whether the choice made was a correct choice or not?
In response, it should be said that Islam has cleared the way and provided the necessary instructions for this purpose. Islam has considered one of the conditions of choosing a friend to be a test of the person in question, and friendship without a test is not correct.
Ali (peace be upon him) said:
The one who takes a brother after a good examination, his conversation is long and his love is confirmed, and the one who takes one without examination will be forced into the company of the wicked. (25)
Imam Ali (peace be upon him) says:
The one who chooses friendship after testing his friendship will remain stable and his affection will remain firm, and the one who unwisely and without testing will make friendship with others will inevitably join the friendship of evil and corrupt people.
Parvin is the sign of a true friend
Never needed a friend
So, if we want to have friends in life who are tied to our material and spiritual happiness and development, we must consider the selection criteria and conditions, which are faith and piety, reason, moderation and moderation, mirroring each other, good morals and greed. Not being in the world is one of its essential accessories.
subscripts:
۱٫ Surah Al-Imran, verse 28.
2. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 61, p. 150.
3. Jame Al-Akhbar, vol. 1, p. 85.
4. Believers are the one soul.
5. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 11, p. 150.
6. Usul Kafi, vol. 1, p. 11.
7. Tafsir al-Mizan, vol. 17, p. 266.
8. Nahj al-Balagha, Hikmat 51.
9. Surah Malik, verse 10; And they said, “We don’t listen or listen to our companions.”
10. Qanei Tusi.
11. Awali Al-Ali, vol. 1, p. 266.
12. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 1, p. 174.
13. Surah Al-Imran, verse 185.
14. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 2, p. 34.
15. Surah Baqarah, verse 143.
16. Nahj al-Fasaha, letter A, number 74.
17. Nahj al-Balagha, word 31.
18. Golestan Saadi, chapter 8, on speech etiquette.
19. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 77, p. 271.
20. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 78, p. 249.
21. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 78, p. 90.
22. Saadi.
23. Surah Qalam, verse 4.
25. Gharral al-Hakm, p. 416 24.
Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 70, p. 372.
mostajar
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